This is a rant about Jaguars on South Jersey/Philadelphia Craigslist. (I've had four beers, bad language follows)

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
09/09/2016 at 16:40 • Filed to: None

Here are things I’ve learned about looking for Jaguars on South Jersey and Philadelphia Craigslist: 1) No one has the slightest idea what their car is worth. 1a) It is priced twice blue book, because “luxury.” 1b) it is priced three times blue book, because someone bought a Jag and found out the next month that holy shit, you have to maintain old British luxury cars?” 2) People in this region who own Jaguars are the worst ever.

1) This fucking thing:

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Someone buy this fucking thing and destroy it so I don’t have to see it get re-listed every day. Also, and I swear this is true—S-Types actually look better with a front tag.

2) I am not a purple car fan, but this is actually pretty cool. 1998 is a very bad year to buy an XK8/XJ8, but $5900 isn’t crazy-ish for this mark...what the fuck is that on the hood? What did you do? You took your “1 of 300" factory purple Jaguar coupes and you drilled a fucking leaper into its hood? You put a leaper on a Jaguar coupe? Jesus.

http://southjersey.craigslist.org/cto/5740725393…

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Actually, screw you, I want both of these. NP.

Has rust

4) Has rust.

5) 2004 XJ8 with 92k, $8,000. Hahahahahahahahahaha. No.

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6) Check engine light and a gearbox fault message, but it’s totally okay and definitely shifts. “Should be towed.”

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7)LOW (93,000) MILES. Not an $11,000 car, pal.

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8) See above, but substitute $11,000 for $13,000 and add in an engine liner that sheds like a cat and secondary tensioners that’ll run $1,200–$1,500 to replace.

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DISCUSSION (38)

Roadster Man > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 16:44

I like the one with the most rust.

TysMagic > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 16:47

i like this post. I like you. I want more posts like this from you

Decay buys too many beaters > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 16:49

Kinja'd!!!

On the other hand... impulse bought at $700 (plus auction fees). No idea if it runs well, gonna show up Tuesday and try to drive it off (adventure time!)

Kinja'd!!!

Honeybunchesofgoats > Roadster Man
09/09/2016 at 16:50

If you really squint to the point of causing permanent damage, it would be perfect.

S65 > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 16:50

You are insane and I like it.

JeepJeremy > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 16:50

4 beers deep and angry about crappy cars is best Oppo!

Honeybunchesofgoats > Decay buys too many beaters
09/09/2016 at 16:55

But that’s a good buy . I’m excited to have yet another psycho with an X308 on Oppo.

Decay buys too many beaters > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 16:58

Just saying the deal seem to exist on both sides of the scale. I very rarely see jags valued properly. Usually they fall into either waaaay overpriced, or “lol, impulse buy” territory.

I wonder how the X308 does at autocross, probably worse than my 540i did (which was pretty bad)... should be fun :)

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:02

“has rust”

Kinja'd!!!

Honeybunchesofgoats > Decay buys too many beaters
09/09/2016 at 17:08

There’s less body roll than you’d expect, but more than you’d want. Nonetheless, they really like to be thrown into curves.

petebmwm > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:09

i’m in egg harbor township and see that guys jags, and chrysler 300's all the time.... the worst.

Honeybunchesofgoats > petebmwm
09/09/2016 at 17:10

The worst part is that late model S-Types are difficult to come by.

petebmwm > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:12

dude is the worst......

Benjamin Rolland > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:16

Well, you're in south jersey, so that's your first problem.

Decay buys too many beaters > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:16

So you’re telling me it’s like a Miata made out of lead? It’ll be fun to compare the two once I get the junkyard Miata running.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Benjamin Rolland
09/09/2016 at 17:17

Honeybunchesofgoats > Decay buys too many beaters
09/09/2016 at 17:18

Except so much more comfortable to commute in.

Benjamin Rolland > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:18

Fuck north jersey, too. Central is where it’s at!

Roadster Man > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:19

Just call it “patina” or some shit like that. It’s sure old enough!

LongbowMkII > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:19

I like #1. So tacky it's good. Maybe some yellow zig zags in the bright green striping.

Decay buys too many beaters > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:26

Perfect. Should be just about right for the rallycross stage we call roads here in oregon

Honeybunchesofgoats > LongbowMkII
09/09/2016 at 17:27

Better yet, donk it

Honeybunchesofgoats > Benjamin Rolland
09/09/2016 at 17:29

Ahhh, Central Jersey, all of the traffic and property tax of North Jersey without the convenience of being close to New York.

I’ll agree though, fuck North Jersey and its ridiculous house prices and portion of the turnpike that smells like sewage.

Benjamin Rolland > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:48

Kinja'd!!!

We got the best beaches tho

Honeybunchesofgoats > Benjamin Rolland
09/09/2016 at 17:52

But we’re closer to Delaware’s heroin needle free beaches. Check. Mate.

ETA: Union wishes it wasn’t North Jersey.

Obruni > Honeybunchesofgoats
09/09/2016 at 17:56

I would disagree that Jaguar owners in this region are the worst.

I went shopping for a used Scion in the tristate area a couple of years ago, and that experience led me to lease a new car instead.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Obruni
09/09/2016 at 17:58

To be fair, you’ve got a point. I see all of these amazing things people on Oppo find on Craigslist, then I go there myself and find nothing but disappointment and sadness.